To raise happy and honest children, parenting should be based on respect, not restrictions. Our sons and daughters must follow the rules out of fairness and expediency, not out of fear of punishment.
Contrary to popular opinion, a strict upbringing is not a guarantee of success. Obedience conditioned by yelling and strict rules turns into fear and insecurity.
Sometimes a decent son or daughter hides low self-esteem and unhappiness. So many walls are built around such a child that they perceive life as a prison.
In addition, they become unable to take initiative because they expect someone to constantly tell them what to do or not to do.
A happy child is always exploring, playing, laughing, and communicating. And fear and strictness break the wings of growth and self-esteem.
So when you choose a parenting style for your children, aim for one that will allow them to grow as a whole and self-sufficient individuals. One that will enable them to live in this world with respect, be happy themselves, and give happiness to others.
Restrictions in education
Everyone wants children who listen, do what we expect of them, and meet the standards we set.
Of course, this is a natural desire, but we must not forget that such behavior should be harmonious for the child and the environment.
Observance of the rules must go through their understanding:
- Your child should be aware of what you expect from him and why you implement certain rules.
- “I do what mom asks because she knows what’s best for me. Every night I put away the toys in my room to keep them tidy. I do not interrupt and listen to others, thus showing them respect.
Children should not obey the rules for fear of punishment. Behaviorism (behavioral psychology) does not always work in such situations.
If a child is used to being yelled at or scolded for any mistake or misbehavior, then they will develop fear and anger towards their parents.
Raising a child in fear is traumatic for life
Early childhood is the period from one month to seven years. Everything that happens at this time is very important for future development.
All parents want their offspring to obey their requests. This helps the child to be involved in the family and also creates a safe environment for the child.
However, the younger generation always wants to go beyond the defined framework to express themselves… however, just like all of us.
- If the response to each step beyond the set limits is punishment, yelling, or scolding, then the child has 2 possible reactions.
- This will either increase her anger, and then she will try even harder to provoke you, or she will withdraw into herself.
- In early childhood, it is simply unacceptable for a child to feel fear every day.
Fear destroys self-esteem and causes excessive stress for the young brain, which is still in the process of maturation.
- Education based on punishment forces the child to focus on external recognition in everything. Thanks to your efforts, an insecure and indecisive person grows up.
All those who, thanks to their family, learn about the world through the prism of fear, grow up unhappy.
Teach with love and respect
- Respectful parenting means constantly telling your child what you expect from him. At the same time, you should encourage her to be herself, explore the world, and show that she is safe with you.
- Teaching with love rejects the need to shout, everything can be explained in a calm, normal tone.
- If you want to instill obedience with love, then you need to listen and hear the child. Pay attention to her thoughts, and based on this, make your suggestions, and give explanations and advice.
- Don’t try to raise perfect children. You want to have happy sons and daughters who know the rules of the family and the society in which we live.
- The child must be given the right to vote. If you focus on punishment and rebuke, only pointing out mistakes, then you will raise a person who cannot stand up for himself.
- Instead of showing excessive severity for bad behavior, try to explain what was wrong and how it would be better to act.
- Remember that many demands will not bring good. You don’t want to raise a submissive and withdrawn child.
Pay attention to your child’s talents. So at the right time, when they need to restore themselves, their confidence, or their sense of happiness, they will know what can help them.
Picture Credit: VistaCreate