Everyone dreams of beautiful love. Like in the movies. How sweet to imagine that a man is admired by a woman, wears it in her arms, cares. She responds to him in kind, than she only multiplies the reciprocal feelings. Their relationship does not boil down to love’s answer to love.
They love each other EXTREMELY.
We with ecstasy watch films, read books about romantic love and we wish to ourselves in a daily life such. We are looking for, we find, but quickly disappointed. Enthusiastic perception of each other, arising at the peak of love, disappears somewhere.
Life is not a movie. Here everything is more prosaic. There is no way to do the editing, leaving only romantic scenes. Agree, it’s easy to imagine that you are loved unconditionally, simply because you exist with all the advantages and disadvantages. It’s harder to imagine that you should love someone for nothing.
Nevertheless, long, lasting relationships are impossible without love. Unlike love, love is built up, and does not arise spontaneously, requires the continuous psychological efforts of both partners, the mutual desire to build a trusting relationship.
It’s simplest to imagine love literally. You and your man are tightly connected. You feel the breath of each other, the heartbeat of a partner. Now imagine that your friend jerked violently, hitting your elbow painfully under the ribs. Even if he did it instinctively, not specifically, it hurts.
So in a relationship. People who choose to live together, share bed, income, free time are tied to each other. And attachment is fraught with pain. From now on, everyone should act with an eye on the partner, will not his behavior, careless word, act cause pain for the other half.
Here are 8 ways that will help create and maintain true love, and therefore be truly happy in a relationship:
Do not idealize your partner.
Romantic tragedy occurs when after the honeymoon the raptures subside and pink spectacles fly off. Lovers tend to idealize the chosen ones, to endow them with qualities that were previously watched in the same films about love. In fact, a person turns out to be different, and you realize with horror that you absolutely do not know him.
In the beginning of a relationship, spend more time talking. Ask questions and listen carefully to the chosen one. Try to understand what kind of person is before you, how much your values coincide.
Be ready to learn from each other.
All people are different. To create strong close relationships, one must learn to decipher each other. Why there is a trip, about which I spoke in the last post. Because we interpret our partner’s behavior in our own way.
The man began to spend more time at work or with friends, a woman at some point became lonely, but she felt it was right to hide it, so as not to seem intrusive. The man also considered that he had ceased to be important to her. Further more.
With people, especially loved ones, it is necessary to SPEAK. The same actions are interpreted in different ways. Try to voice your feelings, do not be silent. Do not give the partner the opportunity to think out the cause on his own. He will think up, but in truth his version will look like a pig on a hedgehog. To you it is bad – explain why, well – thank the man for the pleasure given. In time, you will learn to understand each other without words. By pretending that nothing is happening, you increase the OPPOSITION.
Learn to enjoy the loneliness.
Love, relationship is not a circus. It does not mean that a partner should entertain you day and night. Every man, except his beloved, has a job, friends, hobbies. The more versatile, and therefore more interesting person, the more in his life these “except”. You can share some interests, but in any case it is important to feel comfortable with yourself. Love will not save you from loneliness, if you are burdened in a society of your beloved.
Analyze the reasons for the disagreement.
Many couples with pleasure quarrel, and then reconcile, thus supporting a romantic trance. If teasing a partner you start and eventually get enchanting sex, it’s love games. The main thing that the desire to quarrel was not some deep problem – the fear of intimacy, psychological trauma, distrust.
If the causes of your quarrels are monotonous, talk about the problem. At the same time, remember that it is natural for a person to remember good for longer. Try to have one conversation about the problems had at least five pleasant impressions.
Apperciate things which you have.
Dreaming of the unrealizable is easy. This removes the responsibility for inactivity. For example, you want to fly to Mars. You can safely lie on the couch, watch TV shows and absorb cakes, accusing all of humanity of the inability to realize your beautiful dream.
Dreaming of cine love is easy. The truth is that from the other person you can get no more than what you can give yourself. Start loving the way you want them to love you.
Give up psychological manipulation.
At the heart of true love is trust. Be sincere, do not put pressure on your partner, wanting to get something for yourself. Where there is mutual understanding, people do not play manipulative games. If the partners are honest with each other, they do not have a need to search for a secret meaning in words, to doubt and move away on this ground.
Love everyday life.
The period of romantic hilling ends sooner or later. Come on weekdays. Many oppose, consider it necessary to prevent this process. In fact, the holiday can not last forever. It is important to learn to see the charm in the measured everyday life with your loved one. This is the juice of intimacy (not to be confused with the desire to become native).
Everyday life together with your beloved man does not irritate you, but touches you? So you have achieved real intimacy.
Open your heart for love.
No wonder they say, “You want to be happy. Be it! “Conditions are not necessary for happiness. This is a state of mind.
One person wakes up and enjoys the charm of an overcast morning, drizzling rain, a cup of escaped, but such a fragrant coffee, a cat that wakes the owner at five in the morning, so that he fills the bowl with food. Another in the same manifestations of everyday life sees only problems, troubles, an occasion for melancholy and depression.
If you are open to love, it is easier for you to accept someone else’s love. And you love nicer. It’s easier to consider positive qualities in a partner if you are willing to do good. Be easy, positive, sincere and responsive. Tune in to love. Give love and she will surely return to you a hundredfold.
And more … To build a close relationship, the mutual desire of the two partners is necessary. But to influence the process must, of course, WOMAN. Create around the atmosphere of peace, peace, peace of mind, intimacy and unity – the purpose of this woman.
The better you cope with this role, the more happiness falls to your lot. Because love is an opportunity to take care of another person in the long run to take care of themselves.
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