To achieve happiness in a relationship there is a certain scheme of key elements. The psychology of relationships offers a technique for this: to do pleasant things together.

Many people wonder: what are the ingredients of a real and long-lasting love potion? What is the key to a healthy relationship? How can you keep a relationship for a long time?

The fact is that there are no magical ingredients that always contribute to a satisfying relationship, but pleasant things together are an important part of it.

However, although all people are different, sexual psychology and relationship psychology establish certain measures that you can take to heal your relationship. It’s about good deeds and their impact on partners. We will explain in detail below.

Couples issues

Sexual problems, stress, children, reconciliation with relatives, work, money, and other conflicts can affect relationships. Their combinations can affect the interaction of partners in different ways.

For example, partners may be angry, emotionally estranged, reject each other, or restrict communication. However, it always happens that partners stop doing something together.

Reinforcers of relationships and kinship

Reinforcers are incentives that make certain patterns of behavior more likely. For example, if one of the partners gets a kiss every time he cooks something delicious, the next time he likely wants to cook something even tastier.

In this case, the reinforcement will be a kiss, as it leads to more frequent cooking of delicious meals. When you stop doing something together, both partners have fewer opportunities to use reinforcement.

If you do not do pleasant things together, it is not possible to use reinforcements, and therefore, such actions are much less common. So, from the point of view of relationship psychology, pleasant things together are an effective solution that usually gives good results.

How to amplify amplifiers

In addition to enjoyable things, you can use other behavioral strategies that can allow you to achieve effective and lasting change in relationships.

Small things together

When a relationship breaks down, likely, both partners will not want to do something together.

However, small things that are enjoyable for one or both partners can be a good idea. For example, walking the dogs, cooking lunch, or buying bread together are simple things that can be a boost.

As you progress, one or both partners may offer to dine together at your favorite restaurant, go to the movies, or go to a party.

Of course, they will likely do so again. Many couples who go to therapy because of a deteriorating relationship start doing nice things together automatically after they first take simple steps.

The latter is just one example of how behavioral techniques are useful for couples at the beginning of therapy: The first thing you need to do is look for reinforcements.

Something as simple as cooking together or shopping together can help improve a relationship.

The technique of special days

Another way to install amplifiers without certain cases – the use of special days. This is useful if the couple does not want to do anything together or does not have enough time.

On special days, both partners are asked to dedicate one day to support their partner. They can’t choose the same days, and both partners need to know which days are special.

While there may be hesitant at first, as partners may find it unnatural or forced, the truth is that it tends to improve the relationship. Receiving reinforcements through comments, conversations or actions often brings people a sense of satisfaction.

When you give reinforcements, you usually get reinforcements in return, and both partners must take this into account. Usually, both partners decide to give reinforcements, because it’s nice to receive them.

Although this technique does not resolve conflicts, it does increase satisfaction.

Notice the positive health of the relationship

Another behavioral technique that you can use in addition to pleasant things is to pay attention to the positive. When relationships break down, partners tend to forget about all the positive aspects.

As you can see, there is no specific key to happiness in a relationship. However, all relationships can be recovered if both partners decide to make some behavioral and cognitive changes. These changes are taking place in parallel. In other words, behavioral techniques can cause cognitive changes and vice versa. Therefore, it is important to know how to use them to achieve a harmonious relationship.

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They love each other EXTREMELY.

We with ecstasy watch films, read books about romantic love and we wish to ourselves in a daily life such. We are looking for, we find, but quickly disappointed. Enthusiastic perception of each other, arising at the peak of love, disappears somewhere.

Life is not a movie. Here everything is more prosaic. There is no way to do the editing, leaving only romantic scenes. Agree, it’s easy to imagine that you are loved unconditionally, simply because you exist with all the advantages and disadvantages. It’s harder to imagine that you should love someone for nothing.

Nevertheless, long, lasting relationships are impossible without love. Unlike love, love is built up, and does not arise spontaneously, requires the continuous psychological efforts of both partners, the mutual desire to build a trusting relationship.

It’s simplest to imagine love literally. You and your man are tightly connected. You feel the breath of each other, the heartbeat of a partner. Now imagine that your friend jerked violently, hitting your elbow painfully under the ribs. Even if he did it instinctively, not specifically, it hurts.

So in a relationship. People who choose to live together, share bed, income, free time are tied to each other. And attachment is fraught with pain. From now on, everyone should act with an eye on the partner, will not his behavior, careless word, act cause pain for the other half.

Here are 8 ways that will help create and maintain true love, and therefore be truly happy in a relationship:

Do not idealize your partner.

Romantic tragedy occurs when after the honeymoon the raptures subside and pink spectacles fly off. Lovers tend to idealize the chosen ones, to endow them with qualities that were previously watched in the same films about love. In fact, a person turns out to be different, and you realize with horror that you absolutely do not know him.

In the beginning of a relationship, spend more time talking. Ask questions and listen carefully to the chosen one. Try to understand what kind of person is before you, how much your values ​​coincide.

Be ready to learn from each other.

All people are different. To create strong close relationships, one must learn to decipher each other. Why there is a trip, about which I spoke in the last post. Because we interpret our partner’s behavior in our own way.

The man began to spend more time at work or with friends, a woman at some point became lonely, but she felt it was right to hide it, so as not to seem intrusive. The man also considered that he had ceased to be important to her. Further more.

With people, especially loved ones, it is necessary to SPEAK. The same actions are interpreted in different ways. Try to voice your feelings, do not be silent. Do not give the partner the opportunity to think out the cause on his own. He will think up, but in truth his version will look like a pig on a hedgehog. To you it is bad – explain why, well – thank the man for the pleasure given. In time, you will learn to understand each other without words. By pretending that nothing is happening, you increase the OPPOSITION.

Learn to enjoy the loneliness.

Love, relationship is not a circus. It does not mean that a partner should entertain you day and night. Every man, except his beloved, has a job, friends, hobbies. The more versatile, and therefore more interesting person, the more in his life these “except”. You can share some interests, but in any case it is important to feel comfortable with yourself. Love will not save you from loneliness, if you are burdened in a society of your beloved.

Analyze the reasons for the disagreement.

Many couples with pleasure quarrel, and then reconcile, thus supporting a romantic trance. If teasing a partner you start and eventually get enchanting sex, it’s love games. The main thing that the desire to quarrel was not some deep problem – the fear of intimacy, psychological trauma, distrust.

If the causes of your quarrels are monotonous, talk about the problem. At the same time, remember that it is natural for a person to remember good for longer. Try to have one conversation about the problems had at least five pleasant impressions.

Apperciate things which you have.

Dreaming of the unrealizable is easy. This removes the responsibility for inactivity. For example, you want to fly to Mars. You can safely lie on the couch, watch TV shows and absorb cakes, accusing all of humanity of the inability to realize your beautiful dream.

Dreaming of cine love is easy. The truth is that from the other person you can get no more than what you can give yourself. Start loving the way you want them to love you.

Give up psychological manipulation.

At the heart of true love is trust. Be sincere, do not put pressure on your partner, wanting to get something for yourself. Where there is mutual understanding, people do not play manipulative games. If the partners are honest with each other, they do not have a need to search for a secret meaning in words, to doubt and move away on this ground.

Love everyday life.

The period of romantic hilling ends sooner or later. Come on weekdays. Many oppose, consider it necessary to prevent this process. In fact, the holiday can not last forever. It is important to learn to see the charm in the measured everyday life with your loved one. This is the juice of intimacy (not to be confused with the desire to become native).

Everyday life together with your beloved man does not irritate you, but touches you? So you have achieved real intimacy.

Open your heart for love.

No wonder they say, “You want to be happy. Be it! “Conditions are not necessary for happiness. This is a state of mind.

One person wakes up and enjoys the charm of an overcast morning, drizzling rain, a cup of escaped, but such a fragrant coffee, a cat that wakes the owner at five in the morning, so that he fills the bowl with food. Another in the same manifestations of everyday life sees only problems, troubles, an occasion for melancholy and depression.

If you are open to love, it is easier for you to accept someone else’s love. And you love nicer. It’s easier to consider positive qualities in a partner if you are willing to do good. Be easy, positive, sincere and responsive. Tune in to love. Give love and she will surely return to you a hundredfold.

***

And more … To build a close relationship, the mutual desire of the two partners is necessary. But to influence the process must, of course, WOMAN. Create around the atmosphere of peace, peace, peace of mind, intimacy and unity – the purpose of this woman.

The better you cope with this role, the more happiness falls to your lot. Because love is an opportunity to take care of another person in the long run to take care of themselves.

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